if you go home with someone and they dont have books, dont fuck them.



Bad sex.

So, I taste, smell and feel like bad decisions and regrets. 

Tonight I had sex, very bad sex. 

I ended things with a thumbs up and when he tried to start a round two I almost shouted “OH DAMNIT! I have to go feed my cousins cats.” 

Then I pulled on my pants, and literally ran out of the house.

On my drive home, I get a call from the same guy who goes “I have to tell you something. You’re cute, and I like you.”

Wut. No. 


Winter time, Eric Felfeli


my mom always throws old clothes that she has nothing to do with in my closet, and whenever i call her out on it, she says “i have never done that, all of the clothes in your closet are yours”


are you sure mom


are you sure these are my clothes

(via jerkidiot)






why would you ever want it to leave it is a magical woodland friend

I love how this picture is obviously taken by someone who is hiding behind a couch

(Source: calliesross, via vercasbri)

Where are you from?

So, you know on Buzzfeed, Facebook, sometimes even Twitter, you see a link about You Know You’re A Military Brat If… and without fail somewhere at the top of the list is about getting asked

Where are you from? and that answer is always EVERYWHERE.

But I also answer nowhere. I have no home. I’m from nowhere. 

Why? That’s a depressing outlook, but it’s true. 

I was born on Eglin AFB in Valparaiso, Florida on September 22nd 199something to my mom.

I moved to Holloman AFB, NM when I was the tender age of 5. We lived there for SEVEN YEARS. It’s unheard of in military lives. Unless you’re in the Army [from what I’m told, I don’t actually know much about the Army. Sorry]

I moved to Dyess AFB, Texas when I was in the 5th grade. From there I moved to Aviano AFB, Italy [Although we lived in Dardago, Italy. Wonderful place. I lived down the street from a goat slaughterhouse.)

The summer before Junior year I moved to Eglin AFB (Actually, I was supposed to move to Arkansas, but the base there said my mother was too qualified for the job they where putting her in and said send her somewhere else. So they said Hawaii and I said WOOHOO, and then they where liked “Well, Scharalene how about we give you your bosses bosses bosses job back in Dyess” and I quote to my mother functional I said "Dyess sucks, I’m not moving there" and my mother was all “JORDAN NICOLE” and her functional dude was like “Where does Nicole wanna go?” and I was all “Florida.” 

Two weeks later I was in Mykonos, Greece when we got an email with order to Eglin AFB, Florida. 

I lived there for two years and three days after I graduated I moved to the tiny town (it’s literally 9.6 square miles) of Portland, Texas (This is where I am currently house sitting.) I lived there for 2 months before moving out into the big blue world of San Antonio, Texas.

As on August 23, 2014 I will live in Corpus Christi, Texas. 

No I’m not happy about it, and I’m at a terrible college for my degrees, but it’s the choice I made and will have to live with. I will have to move in 2 or so years to do my Master’s somewhere else. 

Where are you from? I hate being asked this. WHY?

I’m from nowhere. I was born in Florida, yet I have no real connection to it. I lived there a total of 6 years, only two of which I remember. So I was born there but I’m not from there. 

The longest I lived anywhere was New Mexico, but really the only thing I remember about New Mexico was walking to the bus in the snow, snow, Logan and Adam my childhood best friends, Katie my other childhood friend, Marshall making me walk to the bus with a stomach virus and passing out in a bush and being molested by Brandon for years. I’m not from Holloman AFB, New Mexico. 

Abilene, Texas? Dyess AFB. I’m not from there either. I was there for two years. Fun Fact - I was supposed to move to Alaska not Texas after New Mexico. This is the only place I’ve ever lived that I’m not still friends with anyone from there. I’m Facebook friends with like 200, but I haven’t talked to any of them since July of 2010. I’m not from Dyess AFB.

Italy. I grew up in Italy. I became a person in Italy, and it’s the place I connect to the most. I’m not from Italy, though. Additionally, saying I grew up in Italy spews the questions ‘Do you speak Italian?” Yes, I can curse you out, order food, and give directions. etc etc etc.

Back to Eglin AFB. I was born here, but I’m not from here. 

Well, you can’t be from nowhere, you’re from everywhere.

I’m not from everywhere. The world is a vast place and although I’ve been to almost every country in Europe, a couple in South America, Asia and Mexico, I’m not from any of them. I just visited, bought a t-shirt and a magnet. 

I don’t identify with a single place, and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. 

More recently people have started asking me if I like Texas, and I’m sorry, but no I don’t like Texas.

Of all the places I’ve been, lived, or anything Texas is the place I least connect with. Texas will never be my home. 

I’m from nowhere. I’m still searching for a home. Maybe that’s why it’s so hard for me to stay at one college, or put any effort into friends here. 

I’m still searching for the place I belong, and that’s okay. 

Additional Notes-

Without fail whenever I have posted about anything military related I get a lot of hate anon. Go fuck yourself. 

I am not in anyway saying that I understand all of military life, or inferering that I have control over my mother’s functional manager [side note- she retired after 23 years some months 9 days and like 12 hours in the air force] I am merely relaying a conversation. 

I will on the other hand say that I do understand what I am talking about and no I am not complaining. I am merely talking. 

I would never change anything about my life. Nothing. I am in no way blaming the military or my mother for this.

My mother is a fantastic human being and she will fuck you up. She’s a badass with a ridiculous set of tits and ferocious hair. 

I love the military and the life it provided for my mother and me. I love the places I have lived (except Dyess, too much fucking wind.) I am in no way shaming or blaming it, for anything.

I will on the other hand blame Obama for everything in the world I dislike, including the name of certain states and cities, because although logically I know they are older then Obama, I do not like Obama and I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT TO SAY. 

Kindly go fuck yourself. If you have anything negative to say.

If not, kindly go find an orgasm, you deserve you special thing. 


I know you’re probably never going to see this. 

But on the off chance that you do - just know that I miss you. I’m not even angry or upset anymore. Do I want to know who you actually are? Yeah, of course. I just miss my friend and wish I could have her him back idk man.

(via she-wants-the-eod)






The coolness of this gif is beyond words.

Ugh omg

water porn

I think I just fell in love

Even though this type of shit creeps me the fuck out




Possibly the saddest thing I’ve ever seen

this made me cry

Reblog this. We owe this person at least this much

this is heart wrenching